My Internal Conversation During a Long Run (Subtitle: I've never been diagnosed with ADHD)

Mile 1: AH! It is so nice outside!! {Note: it was 27 degrees} This sure beats the treadmill! I love running!  Ugh...why don't people shovel the path? Well, if I lived here I would probably not shovel the path either.  Guess I'll run on the road.  Good thing the Packers are playing and traffic is light! I'm guessing the trail is not optimal to run on. Now what? I cannot go back and run 14 miles on a treadmill.  I will die.  Head toward high school loop.

Mile 2: Ugh. Mile 1 was too fast.  I am going to have to slow down.  How am I going to run 12 more miles?  I think I have to go to the bathroom. No...i went before I left.  No...i definitely have to go.  Where am I going to go to the bathroom? Cousins.  I'll go to Cousins Subs.   Where is the restroom there? Is it going to be obvious that I'm only there to use the restroom? probably.  I'll go to Pick N Save instead.  UGH! WHY DOES NOBODY SHOVEL THEIR SIDEWALKS!"

{bathroom stop at Pick and Save}

Mile 3: "Ok.  This dead end street is nice.  I can do a few laps on this street.  Let's see...I'll do 3 circles of this street and get to 5 miles and then head back to the high school and finish in another neighborhood.  I wonder why this street is a dead end.  

Mile 4: Random Taylor Swift song pops into my head and I sing along...in my head...'Boys only want love if its torture...Don't say I didn't say I didn't warn you.  Boys only want love if its torture...Don't say I didn't say I didn't warn you'  Am I too old to listen to Taylor Swift? i kind of really like this song.  Hmmm...  UGH. this run sucks.  Why the hell am I out here.  It's kind of cold.  I think my feet are wet.  How am I going to run 10 more miles?  How am I really going to run a marathon in 16 weeks?  Why did I say I was going to do this?

Mile 5:  I think these shoes are done.  They really do not feel like there is any cushioning or tread left. Panic.  What shoes am I going to train in?  Can I really do long runs in the other two pairs of shoes that I have?  Do I buy another pair of asics?

Mile 6:  These high school laps are ok.  If I can get to 10 miles running around here, I can make up the remaining 4 on my way home and around our neighborhood.  OK. so the sidewalk is drifts here. back to the road.

Mile 7-8:  I'm kind of hungry.  Do I eat my Gu?  I wonder if my water bottle is still where I left it.  I wonder if anyone is watching me run laps around the high school and thinking i am insane. Is that approaching car going to move over for me...ugh no. ok. thanks buddy.

Mile 9: I'm just going to eat the Gu.  My legs hurt.  Mmm! Peanut butter Gu is pretty good.  I think I can do two more laps around here.  Hi guy with dog.  please move out of the way....ok not going to be room to pass him without going through huge snow mounds...move to the street.

Mile 10:  Only 4 more left.  I can do 4 miles easy.  One more lap around here and time to head home. oh man...i am going to finish that marathon and feel like such a rockstar!

Mile 11:  Laps done! Let's get home!

Mile 12:  My legs are really tired.  I will be home at 13 miles.  Maybe I'll just do 13 miles today.  13 isn't that different than 14 right?  Well then I have to say that I only did 13 miles.  I can do 14 - just go into Danell {neighborhood next to ours} and run through there.

Mile 13:  Ok...only 0.75 left.  Oh look there is a guy running!  I've never seen him before.  {Old lady shouts to me "you can beat him"} thanks lady. I really want to respond saying 'I just saw him leave his house and I've already logged 13.5 miles.  I don't care.' but that would be mean. I smile and wave

Mile 14: Arms up!  I made it.  Running is so awesome.  I love long runs :P